Swimming Backwards, German Buffets and the Joy of Shitting in a £400 Wetsuit
A long day ahead...
After achieving my lifetime goal of racing at Hawaii, the only thing that would motivate me to train as hard was always going to be an ultra-distance triathlon. I had always been fascinated by ultras and followed races such as the Mexico Deca and Hawaii Ultraman, and was especially interested in the feats of early British competitors such as Erik Seedhouse and Bob Brown.
I had originally entered UK Enduroman Triple in the summer as my comeback race, but then Enduroman announced the Lanzarote Double at the start of February and I couldn’t resist. I entered it with Brian Mullan, a club mate who was also experiencing his first ultra-triathlon. After four years without serious training or competition, I felt the same excitement of the unknown as I had when I prepared for my first Ironman in 1997.
Event video courtesy of Enduroman.
The event was based at Playa Blanca on the south west coast of Lanzarote, and we stayed there at the official race hotel. It was perfect for our simple needs - comfortable dedrooms and an all-you-can-eat buffet . We spent the days preceding the event tinkering with our bikes, recceing the route and generally passing the time surrounded by Speedo-clad Germans. The highlight (and possibly most bizarre experience, other than the nightly entertainment) was being drug tested by the International Ultra Triathlon Association. We were quite flattered that they thought a couple of tosspots from Manchester posed such a threat.
Even tosspots get tested.
Swim
The swim was a six-lap affair and took place in the sea to the west of Playa Blanca. During race week it was fairly calm and warm which was a relief as I tend to get very cold in water. However, on race day there was a significant swell and it definitely felt colder. The start was far more relaxed than I’m used to in Ironman. People were milling around making final preparations and chatting to families and friends, and we all gradually made our way down to the sea for the start.
As the field was small there was none of the usual aggro, and we all found our own space. The down side was that we didn’t have feet to follow and the buoys were difficult to sight. Due to the swell we covered the out leg of the course with relative ease, but had a much harder time returning. At some points in the shallower areas I could see the bottom and realised I was going backwards. The main focus was to relax as much as possible, maintain a high arm turnover and not get frustrated by the slow progress.
We were also able to feed every lap at the turnaround boat, so I alternated between energy drink and a gel each lap, partly to fuel the following hours, but to also maintain my core temperature.
My stomach had felt ok during the build up to the race, so I wasn’t too bothered when I started to feel the need for the toilet at half way. However, as the swim progressed it was becoming apparent that I wasn’t going to be able to last until the end of the swim. I therefore had the choice of a) exit the sea and find a toilet, or b) shit myself. As I wasn’t prepared to lose up to twenty minutes unnecessarily the choice was obvious.
The sea conditions were gradually taking their toll on everyone. By the last lap my arms were getting very tired, which is something I hadn’t experienced in training, even with three hour swims in my wetsuit during training. Due to the swell and sighting problems I've no idea how far I actually swam but I eventually exited in 2hr 32min, absolutely freezing and relieved to be on dry land again. Balance was initially very difficult and I had to be pulled from the water and steadied before I could make my way to transition.
My stomach had felt ok during the build up to the race, so I wasn’t too bothered when I started to feel the need for the toilet at half way. However, as the swim progressed it was becoming apparent that I wasn’t going to be able to last until the end of the swim. I therefore had the choice of a) exit the sea and find a toilet, or b) shit myself. As I wasn’t prepared to lose up to twenty minutes unnecessarily the choice was obvious.
I fairly certain I’ve never deliberately shit myself so it was a strange feeling to let it all go while simultaneously being battered by the sea swell. A little lighter (and warmer) I carried on and ended up repeating it twice during the remainder of the swim.
The sea conditions were gradually taking their toll on everyone. By the last lap my arms were getting very tired, which is something I hadn’t experienced in training, even with three hour swims in my wetsuit during training. Due to the swell and sighting problems I've no idea how far I actually swam but I eventually exited in 2hr 32min, absolutely freezing and relieved to be on dry land again. Balance was initially very difficult and I had to be pulled from the water and steadied before I could make my way to transition.
With Eddie Ette on the way to T1. Frozen.
Bike
The bike route consisted of several 35 mile loops which took people North towards El Golfo before returning to the race venue. After a relatively long transition I eventually began the bike, and shivered throughout the first lap despite the fact the racing conditions were ideal. The aim was to take it steady and fuel consistently from the start. I planned to use energy drink, sweets and a cereal bar during each lap, and eat something properly at the end of each lap.
The coastline as we rode North.
The race progressed uneventfully as I ticked off the miles and I eventually warmed up and felt very comfortable. There was a headwind on the way back from El Golfo but the conditions were much better than they often are at that time of year. Because competitors were spaced out over such a long loop the only time we saw each other was on the out and back section in and out of Blaya Blanca. I was initially struck by the speed some people were riding. Paul Thompson and Guy Willard were flying and I was convinced they would eventually blow. I was wrong! They maintained an amazing pace throughout the bike. I also saw Brian a couple of times and he looked very comfortable and seemed to be enjoying the whole experience.
On the loop around El Golfo.
I soon realised that to be more competitive in future events I would need a support crew. Both Brian and myself had travelled alone, and didn’t realise how much time a support crew would save. My food was packed away to protect it from the sun and my clothing was in the transition tent. This meant I had to go off course to change any clothes (especially as it got colder during the night), and spend time finding the food I needed. Other support crews were happy to help where they could, but I seriously underestimated how much time this would take. As it happened every lap, I estimate it wasted at least 30 minutes overall. The stomach problems also continued during the bike. There was thankfully a Portaloo at the beginning of the far loop and I stopped on several laps, losing more precious fluid each time.
A view I became very accustomed to!
As night gradually fell we fixed our lights, put on some extra layers and donned our reflective vests. The Northern part of the course was unlit, so the only visibility we had was from our lights. Everyone agreed afterwards that this was the highlight of the race: riding in pitch black and completely silent except for the sound of our breathing and the waves crashing on the rocks. We could just about see the silhouette of the volcano ridges against the cloudless sky, and if we looked up every star was visible. I’ve never seen a sky that clear.
I felt comfortable throughout the entire bike, pushing as hard as I was comfortable with. I eventually finished in the early hours of the morning in 14hr 48min which was much slower than I had hoped for. I don’t use a cycling computer during races as I don’t see any benefit whatsoever: you can only go as fast as your body, race course and conditions will allow. Looking back I don’t think I should have gone any harder. There were people who biked much faster than me but finished the race way behind me as a result of the faster bike split.
Run
As with Ironman, it’s always a relief to climb off the bike and start running. After a quick change I started running and the plan was simple: I would start slowly, walk at regular intervals and avoid stopping at all costs.
The run course consisted of multiple one-mile loops around the hotel, and included a section along the sea wall. There were two aid stations, one at the race finish and transition, and the other at the far part of the course near the lighthouse.
The run course consisted of multiple one-mile loops around the hotel, and included a section along the sea wall. There were two aid stations, one at the race finish and transition, and the other at the far part of the course near the lighthouse.
Just after sunrise, around 30 miles to go.
I ran the first few miles with the only break being when I briefly stopped each lap to pick up a drink or snack. I soon began to force myself to walk the short inclines, and as the race progressed these walks became longer and more frequent. As the running surface alternated between tarmac and concrete the legs grew stiffer and more painful. I rarely felt physically fatigued except for around 4am–5am where the thought of sleeping was extremely tempting. We literally ran past our room every lap and it would have been very, very easy. The stomach issues had thankfully resolved themselves by the start of the run, and I only needed the toilet a couple of times during the final stage.
I briefly saw Brian during the second half of the run and he was running well, possibly because he had gone into the hotel and made use of the free breakfast buffet, once when it had opened and again as it was about to close.
I briefly saw Brian during the second half of the run and he was running well, possibly because he had gone into the hotel and made use of the free breakfast buffet, once when it had opened and again as it was about to close.
As it became lighter holidaymakers began to appear and didn’t give us much attention as we shuffled past them. The sun was out and conditions were perfect – I was really enjoying it despite the discomfort and knew I would finish whatever happened. I wasn’t sure what position I was in but during the last few miles I was keen to improve my position and get as good a time as possible. It was frustrating to be unable to run more as the legs were now destroyed and running was very painful. There’s only so much Coke and Red Bull can achieve and it was simply a case of digging in. I hadn’t trained through a British winter to not give 100% on the day, so it was a case of jog whenever possible and speed-walk the rest.
Nearly there!
I eventually completed the run in 10hr 5min, finishing in 5th place with a total time of 27hr 27min. I thought I had an extra lap to complete and was determined to carry on until Eddie Ette eventually showed me the timing chip data to convince me. I initially felt no worse than after an Ironman, just in need of sleep. I sat for a while with Paul (1st) and Guy (3rd) watching the remaining competitors but exhaustion gradually set in and I started to feel in serious need of a dark, quiet room. My legs had seized up but I managed to limp back to the room where I collapsed onto the bed. I didn’t really sleep, but I started shivering and my entire body quickly seized up. I couldn’t physically move, felt terrible and ended up lying there for a couple of hours.
I gradually started to feel better, had a shower and shuffled back out to watch the remainder of the event. Most people were walking by now but Brian looked as fresh as ever. I started to feel hungry so had some pizza and chips at the hotel buffet and then went back out with a beer to watch Brian finish.
Reflection
I would have raced the event no differently apart from walking more earlier on during the run. I would also definitely want a support crew if possible. As the bike split was disappointing I think I should have spent more time riding at Ironman pace. Most of the training I did included hard turbo intervals or very long rides, mostly at L1 – the middle ground is what I lacked during the race.
Tired but happy at the awards ceremony. I didn't dare try to kneel.
The event was very satisfying as a first ultra-triathlon, and the race is sure to become a classic event. The Enduroman team are genuinely passionate about the sport, the local government is behind the event, and there is a real demand for an ultra-triathlon on a challenging, scenic course. In a sport where most races are run around multi-lap criterium style courses with pool swims, this is a real test on a much less forgiving course.
Race details here: http://www.enduromanlanzarote.es/
